Perils of the God-Head

There’s a reason it’s called ‘The God Molecule’

Within the possible spaces of consciousness there is a great attractor state which is the capital ‘G’ God-head; and 5-MeO-DMT, in particular, has a real penchant for it.

Through this substance many people have reached this state. It is the grandiose realisation of being God, the deepest ‘I AM’, Ultimate Oneness, the one and only entity which is infinite and eternal etc. Access to such a mindstate can lead to philosophical positions of idealism, monism and open individualism.

It is probably safe to say that the use of 5-MeO-DMT is the most reliable, surefire means of (temporarily) achieving such a kind of spiritual ascension, compared to other psychedelics or meditation. However, despite how seemingly magnificent, luminous and all encompassing God-consciousness appears to be, it is not without its shadow and incompleteness. For all the exalting delights, truths and benefits of this configuration of consciousness, this article will focus on the potential pitfalls and shortcomings of identifying as God, and serve as a PSA for those dabbling with 5-methoxy.

The Phenomenology of God-Realisation and its Blindspots

It is a state (temporary) or insight (persisting) where there is an immediate or intuitive sense of being identified with everything that is in and comes into experience, and all conceivable things. There is a felt connection with everything, as everything, and this can foster radical love, acceptance and compassion – though surprisingly it can also do the opposite, as I’ll discuss later.

However, even in its seeming unity, wholeness and Oneness the experience still has a privileged centre to it, which reifies the subject’s existence. It also contains the presence of outer-boundaries to one’s consciousness (despite how faint, or far, or unacknowledged they appear). People at this stage haven’t yet examined that centre or probed into those boundaries. Instead, God establishes himself by focusing on the being/is-ness quality of consciousness, and not the non-being side, and denying there is anything outside of himself while simultaneously not looking deeply into his core. He asserts “I AM” and that is final.

But quite arguably, perceiving I AM as fundamental to experience comes from a mind which doesn’t have the NPSs (noticings per second) and sensory clarity to notice that as a property of experience it is actually emergent, and there lie subtler and more ‘foundational’ aspects of consciousness. Even while locked in and focused on, the sense of SELF still has an expansion and contraction to it; and it takes a very fine-grained mind to notice these fluxes and then even perceive what is happening in between the pulses. You see, even God blinks.

On 5-MeO-DMT, folks are likely to blow past and dissolve many dualities in an instant, but expanding past the screen of God holds a very high barrier for entry, as the price is the relinquishing of a core being of control and knowing.

What’s better than perfect? What’s real.

If we look at this state of mind through the lens of Iain McGilchrist’s divided hemisphere hypothesis, the God-head is, in many ways, a very left hemispheric perspective. The left-hemisphere apprehends the world of platonic forms; trying to grok perfection, ideals, utopias and overlooks the non-rectilinear messiness of the sensate world for immaculate ideas, instead. Stuck in stasis, its conception is seemingly eternal, outside of time, but in that way it is also lifeless and has nowhere to go.

As well, the all knowing God, like the left-hemisphere described by McGilchrist, is caged in its own world; stuck in its internal logic system, as opposed to a more right-hemisphere view which is open to the unknown. Coupled with the blinding sense of perfection overlaid onto everything, from this state one can easily deny that there is any learning, growing and doing occuring. Platonic ideals and God just are, they don’t need to work on themselves, and conveniently you have realised ‘you are God’ – so let the spiritual bypassing begin!

By being so focused on the Absolute and ‘all is one’, we overlook the empirical reality of lived experience and more importantly the differences in experience of others. For this reason, this mindset actually comes with an obtuse degree of disconnection, as difference and sameness both have their important roles in an integrated mind – not just sameness. Though the language at this stage is profusely signalling inclusivity, that God contains everything and is everything, it can easily miss its mark. Instead, it too easily becomes a gloss to paint over everything as ‘good’ and spin wanton cruelty as still good and therefore not needing to be properly reconciled with.

“Everything is already perfect”, a platitude made from an elevated peaceful state that has managed to temporarily let go of significant contraction, while forgetting there ever was significant contraction and suffering in the first place. ‘Forget’ is the operative word here. Partial amnesia, depreciated theory of mind and a lack of empathy for other states of serious suffering is required for such statements – a classic recipe vs review mistake.

Along with the above mentioned shortcomings, this conception of God is still juvenile. A point of maturation, that we would hope more adults reach, is when they recognise the notion of a utopia for what it is: a fantasy.

The human mind can do an amazing thing, it can conceive of infinity. It can see something and then imagine ‘what if this thing, but forever?’. And we do this so much that we don’t even realise it. It sits in the mind of everyone and is a feature, not a bug, but is to be recognised as empty and integrated with the relative, present goings-on. If we lose ourselves to this forever fantasy, we miss what is real. The world is neither perfect, nor imperfect, for they are both conceptions the mind clingings onto, which can be let go of and contextualised ‘within’ a greater understanding of reality.

This is an important insight as it allows the being to stop waiting for perfection in order to be happy. So long as you pedestalise the Absolute (God), there is a part of you which can’t accept your limits. Life entails compromise and I strongly believe this key component of wisdom is part of the antidote to humanity’s three great behavioural and mental afflictions: grandiosity, overshoot and reductionism, which perpetuate a lot of the suffering and existential risks we face today.

The Non-benign side of Being God

I mentioned that God-Realisation can lead to philosophical positions of idealism, monism and open individualism. However, it can also dangerously steer individuals toward solipsism and narcissism.

God-realisation is isolating in that it purports there is only one being and this can fuel a profound paranoia of being alone; not just in life, but in the entire cosmos. Because the God-head can feel like being in a bubble of consciousness, those boundaries of self become a mental prison. One feels trapped within being, with no access to the other, because, in this view, there is no other. This is the fear of solipsism manifest – a deeply unsettling experience. And so long as one’s soul still yearns for connection and that yearning feels it has to be suppressed due the suggestions of this state, then this will cause internal dissonance.

Moreover, God-realisation has the potential to amplify latent narcissism, as it places the ‘SELF’ at the centre of everything. Narcissists are often criticised for creating a false self, an egotistical mask they put on to compensate for deep seated insecurities. This mask serves as both a protection mechanism to shield themselves from others, as well as themselves, for they can’t bear to consciously feel their own pain. By trying to convince themselves they are the most special being there is, they stave off facing their ‘inadequacies’.

The degree to which a person fully believes they have full apprehension of the ‘SELF’ (the real Self) is the degree to which they have reified another false self. And many conceptions of God match the description of a narcissistist’s desired definition of (false) self.

For those with full-on NPD (narcissist personality disorder) or even just strong narcissistic tendencies, God-realisation is everything the false self wants to be confirmed: that ‘in the end it really was all about me!’ Hence, what narcissistic qualities one has can further cement and even bolster themselves via the insight of this state. What’s more is because the God-head is the realisation that you are God and everything is God, its darkside is the denial of the other and this gives self-centred, non-empathetic types further justification to not care about others.

Yet, the biggest egos are also the biggest victims (in their own eyes, I may add). So for all the grandeur of viewing oneself as God, they are also just a hair’s-width away from feeling like one of the most desolate souls in existence.

Rounding off, God-realisation hasn’t yet dissolved the duality of Self and no-self, everything and nothing, or the Absolute and the Relative. Instead, it is a state that focuses on the first half of these dichotomies and turns a blind eye to the other side. Nor has it seen through the guise of the dualities between perfect and imperfect. Still, an amazing state of mind and realisation that comes with important insights, and I recommend many at least taste firsthand what there is to learn from realising the God-head. It is not false that you are God, however it is also not the full truth – as this too is an empty perspective. Just don’t stop there.